Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Home is where the heart is, etcetera

 Everybody knows everybody. Six degrees of separation and the person is your brother's friend, friend's brother, brother's friend's sister, friend's cat's owner's son, and the worst part is, chances are, everybody knows everybody. As a 'burgeoning anthropologist',I have many things to say about this, but we shall reserve my judgments for now and continue with the whining till I successfully manage to cheese everyone off.
It's all well and good when it resembles the first part of the Ekta Kapoor  saas bahu saga- which, come to think of it now, feels like it was shot in the stone age. Much has happened while I was away and Ms Kapoor has graduated to "happening" things like Ragini MMS, and Dirty Picture. But We Digress Here.
The point I am trying to make here, and this is a Very Serious Point- one that should not be taken lightly at all- is the fact that EVERYBODY KNOWS EVERY FREAKING BODY. We all know how that goes, with all the infighting and the ridiculously fragile egos which are frankly more amusing than irritating or annoying.   A very imaginative "what's up? how's life" when the only real thought in your head is that you would really just like to clobber the person on the head, thank you verymuch. Or hear interesting stories about criminals who 'earmarked' their victims by cutting their heads off and playing football with them. Or about a straight-laced boy who made pie charts and bar graphs to track his income and expenditure- who decided that all of this wasn't worth it and that Macchu Picchu was the answer. Or maybe a penthouse in The Caribbean. Or Angola. (While you're reading this, to me a favour and donate to my penthouse in the Caribbean fund. Go on, do it. Don't waste time).
Anyway, like I was saying in the beginning ,everyone knows everyone.The sexy aunties and the parar dadas, the goodboys, the badgirls, the hep and the coolios, the amazing phuchkawalla who cheats us everytime without fail and we have to pay up irrespective of everything. 
And what happens at the end of the day? At the end of the day, You get a  lime green T-shirt from your father which says, "Get a natural High...climb trees." 
You can only imagine what a stressful day it has been. Thums up, and only thums up can save the world.

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