Saturday, January 29, 2011

These days

are not really like the other days. During the beginning of my time here, days were beginning to resemble each other to a point where I could not distinguish one from the other. I'd look at my lists, fervently hoping that I'd get things done, only to find that the day was too cold and that I'd rather spend my time sleeping under the blankets. 
Sometimes, from one week to the next, even the lists didn't make sense-the context, the environment, even the people, everything had suddenly changed.

What really struck me about London at first was the pace at which things moved. I'd spent my first really lonely days at Sardinia Street and written about it here ( The place is so quiet and beautiful that I often grab a sandwich and hot chocolate and have lunch there), I hung out with people who are really great as individuals I'm guessing, but wanted to be more than friends, something unimaginable for me at this point. Maybe I'm too much of a brooder, but if there's one thing I know about myself, while I may be good at everyday spontaneity, I am absolutely awful if I'm pressured into/ coerced into doing anything that I am not ready for in my own mind. I need my own time and space to figure things out, and rushing into something has never worked for me. 

At this point, I am in such a limbo- in a state of confusion with regards to what I want to do and who I want to be. The older I grow, the more unsure I am, and I don't see that as a bad thing, though. I think it only means that I am more willing to explore other possibilities than my pre-set notions. However, it also means that I change my otherwise strongly held views on something, only to come full circle and realise that that is exactly what I believed in the first place.

 In other news, yesterday one of my lifelong dreams came true. I've mentioned before in this blog that I'd like to volunteer long term with a human rights organisation to push for causes that I believe in. The volunteering will not be sealed off from other activities- I think journalism, advocacy, social media and even rallies pushing for causes close to one's heart are all worthwhile. I don't think that there is a hierarchy of causes, but as an individual there are some causes that I feel more strongly about that others. 

I'm actually delighted to be given the opportunity to begin work on it from next week. Unfortunately, I will not be able to talk about it/ blog about it because of a confidentiality clause that I actually completely agree with and respect. However, I might be able to still find a way to communicate what I'm learning via this blog.

I've also begun to love living in London. I walk to school, but I love taking the tube to other parts of the city. I've also stopped being lazy and started attending events and talks organised by the LSE. The other day, I heard Professor Keith Kart talk about the Human Economy. Professor Hart is an economic anthropologist and his new book explores alternative forms of economics and the difference in the way economics operates in simple and complex societies. Next week, I intend to attend four lectures. I would constantly tell myself that I have no time for it/ It is too cold/ some other excuse and in that same vein, nothing ever gets done.

 Although, very late, I've decided to list my resolutions for 2011. I did absolutely nothing in January except eat a lot and doodle, so my resolutions will begin effectively from February.

1 comment:

Magically Bored said...

The volunteering sounds interesting - confidentiality clause withstanding, do share what you're learning.
And good to know you're happy and busy. :)