You live right opposite the British Library. There is no place in London that is better than the British Library. Amake jodi khaat pete dewa hoy ami British library-te shara jibon thakte raaji acchi ( "I'm willing to stay in the British Library my whole life if someone places a bed there").
Dr Abhijit Gupta, also known as Tintinda, during his recent visit to London
So, I've seen you around. ( cheesy pick up line. And most overused, I must say) You like sandwiches, don't you? ( I ignore the random stranger). Stranger desperately tries seeking attention: Do you live on sandwich street? Me: No. Stranger, suddenly looking excited : Oh, I know, where I've seen you, The Sandwich House on Sandwich Street. ( For the record, there's no such thing as a Sandwich house, but I do live near Sandwich Street).
Boy trying to ask me out:
( starts off by being very sophisticated)
So, do you want to go then? To watch the film, I mean?
Me : No, I have a ton of work to do, you go have fun
Boy : ( calls up five minutes later) ok, I've found your replacement.
Me ( telling Beanie) So, My friend Gayatri and I are going out for lunch.
Beanie: Gayatri who? Spivak?
Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.